I wet the bed until I was 13.
I smoked tobacco and weed in the 6th grade.
I’ve used church for self interests.
I judge people without even knowing them.
I’ve been pulled over 24 times.
I was exposed to porn when I was 6.
I’ve made countless mistakes.
I’ve been fired.
I’ve let down people who looked up to me.
I’ve made bad choices with friends and girlfriends.
I don’t connect with God like I long to.
I get bored in church.
I consume a lot.
I’ve made poor financial decisions.
I have fractured family relationships.
I’ve resented my family.
I pulled f's in junior high.
I've dropped f-bombs when I was mad.
I’ve been desensitized to my cultures lack of morals.
I’ve been drunk.
I love my self more than others at times.
I’ve found asking for forgiveness hard.
I’ve found forgiving even harder.
I get to work and can’t wait to go home.
I’ve taken the lower road before.
I’ve been the smaller person at times.
I’ve prayed that God would remove my thorn…
but His grace is sufficient.
His faithfulness is written throughout my life.
His strength is best shown in my weakness.
His plan is wholeness.
His painting of my life is in progress.
His Spirit calls me beyond my past.
His grace is sufficient.
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10 comments:
Your honesty impressed me. I'm going to read this to my boys, I know they'll appeciate it. Especially, my oldest Glen.
24? Good grief! Slow down!... and I'm pretty sure I've seen you wet the bed when you were much older.
In all seriousness, I too appreciate your honesty. However, I think the real benefit is not in admitting these things to other others but reiterating faults to yourself. One of the hardest things in life is criticize yourself. A lot of times people use forgetfulness and ignorance as quick fixes to not try and change or become better. It's scary to think you are not perfect or even close.
Just remember some good aspects of who you are; charismatic, loyal, intelligent, and obviously self-aware. Use those to fix your list. Some of the problems are easy fixes - slow down, consume less, don't do drugs (mkay); while others are much harder and will require time and patience. And most importantly, learn from this list.
I think I'll follow suit and create a similar list. Hopefully it puts my life into a better perspective.
TMI Kev, T.M.I.- Looking forward to seeing you this week.
It's hard not to compare yourself to others when it's laid out like this...but I've only been pulled over once and it made me cry. How did you do it 24 times?? ;o)
Kevin,
I will only admit to wetting the bed 'till age 12..ok and speeding tickets that could pay for one year of college for my offspring. That's it, you'll get no more out of me. I have a reputation ya know!
Rachel - I already responded to you via da email. But hopefully everyone understands what I was saying. I love Paul's openness and frustration in 2 Corinthians and it's had me thinking about how our weakness/stupidity/mistakes are God's strength. Using broken vessels to speak His unlikely story of faithfulness and love through our humanity.
Ryan - thanks for your words and thoughts. I'd love to see your list - mkay!
McGarvey - it is going to be awesome to hang out next week. It's been at least 3 years since we've seen you guys.
Nicky - you know Jason was there for my first right? And I'm pretty sure I cried for that one, but then got numb to the reality that I'm stupid. In fact, I'm pretty sure I called my parents from your house to tell them I had just got my first speeding ticket - 6 days after I got my license. I know - I'm awesome.
Dave - fortunately I haven't been ticketed as many times as I've been pulled over, or the fees would definitely set my kids up for college.
The lines about church in this poem make me think about one I wrote on "Joy" that's on my blog. Here's an excerpt on that:
Sitting in church/ I keep you awake
No matter how long/ The service may take. Good stuff. I have found, though, that while "confession is good for the soul,", sometimes people around you have problems seeing that if they have an image of you from right now. Sometimes, out here in the "real world", I've learned to pace myself as to when & how to reveal things. But in poetry you can be more open about it all at once because people who "commit" to reading poetry "commit" to thinking about the world in different ways.
and all these things qualify you to be used by God. Incredible! God bless you
I see a lot of myself in the points you raise (except the bed wetting... :-) ).
Today I was pulled over for the 25 time and recieved a speeding ticket as my special prize. Boy was my wife suprised - pissed.
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