10/20/2008

Anxiety Is A Killer

Posted by Kevin |

Some of our close friends know about a new job position that I've applied for that will be a huge transition in my families life. Not huge like moving to another state, but huge in what it could mean for us and huge in that I will have the chance to be back in ministry and serving others like I long to do.

The problem is, I have no idea what is going to happen. It's been two weeks since I applied and it will be a few more before I hear anything. And let me just say that this interim period is killing me. At moments I have this ball of anxiety in my stomach and it consumes me - it's all I can think about.

I heard a pastor once say that being unwilling to forgive someone is really saying to God that you don't trust Him enough to deal with the issue. Thus, vengeance is wrong because you are taking action yourself, not trusting God to work all things out for you. I believe this current lesson in patience is the same thing.

Do I trust God enough to guide me and those making the 'hiring' decisions? Do I trust that God's plan for my life, since He sees the whole picture, beyond this next step? Do I trust Him enough to close the wrong doors in my life and open the right ones? I do - but I have to continually remind myself of it.

The hard part is that Julie and I both have moved from being excited about the possibility to being passionately consumed with the idea. We are so excited and it is all we can talk about and neither one of us is enjoying this refresher course in patience. O' patience.

Please pray for us as we wait - please pray for us as we dream - please pray for our future.

8 comments:

m&p said...

Pearl and I know all too well this sucky time of transition. hope you learn some really interesting things about your heart during this time, I know I sure did. Somethings I liked, other things I now have to work on.

hope you guys see God do some cool things

Anonymous said...

A big anxious ball is a good way to describe my life!!! Challenging, cool, real. I love you.

allie. said...

Seems waiting is one of the hardest things for us to do - and is the time when God can do the most in us.

Not comfortable but valuable.

Having said that - I really feel for you.
Will be praying for all of the above

Nicky Stade said...

I'll be praying! Hope you update us whenever you get news!

Kevin said...

Thanks Jewel - love you too.

Matt - thanks, it definitely sucks, but as Allie just said, 'not comfortable, but valuable' - I like that.

Nicky - fo sho'

Mike Brown said...

isn't that always how it works though. we often start with a right heart and proper mindset and then the flesh tries to take over.

the fact that you recognize it is a good thing though.

it'll all work out.

Lillian said...

Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to come by any time.

God's speed,
Lillian

The Running Golfer said...

Kev, you have just put into words the one thing that I have a major problem with. I continually have to remind myself to trust God and that things will happen in His time, not mine. I am impatient by nature, so it is a real struggle for me.

I feel for you and know what you are going through. You and Julie are in my prayers and I know God has big plans for you guys.

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