So I've taken an unintentional break from my blogging endevours - life's been crazy. So this video is a good way to kick things off again!

Enjoy...

Crystal Renaud is a nose-pierced, tattooed and at times pink-haired girl who loves God, the Church and helping the broken find restoration. She is on staff at Westside Family Church in Kansas City. She is also the author of the book, Dirty Girls: The New Porn Addicts (check it out!) and you can find her on her blog, PinkHairedGirl.net and on twitter @pinkharedgirl.

1. Tell us something God's been talking to you about lately.

In my LifeGroup, I am reading "The Search for Significance" by Robert McGee. I have a love/hate relationship with this book so far because of the questions it is forcing me to ask myself. But God's definitely showing me how much I rely on and value the opinion of others, rather than His own opinion of me. It is a hard lesson.

2. Please tell me you're not a Chiefs fan - are you?

Haha, I honestly say I am not a Chiefs fan. I mean, how could I be? I do find that I try and cheer them on if they are playing, but I don't have high expectations of their winning. But with a new coach coming on next season, anything's possible.

3. Regardless, catch us up to speed on this whole women-being-sexual-addicts-thing. These type of struggles are so synonymous with men in our culture and the Church.

Well, the women being sexual addicts thing is a big deal. A big deal that unfortunately not many are talking about. While seen primarily as a problem for men, statistics are showing that every 1 and 3 women have a porn addiction. And that's just the women willing to admit it. Many count women out for being sexual addicts because they aren't known for being visually stimulated. But what women have that puts them into a whole different field are their emotions and they will feed an emotional need with any means necessary.

I continue to get great joy out of my son's perspective on life.

Just yesterday he was inquiring as to why Jesus was carrying around that X on his back - which I thought was hilarious. It was funny to try and put the pieces of that thought together - and this picture is what I imagined he saw it as - like in Sesame Street.

He has also been struggling to understand some of the abstract thoughts about God and Jesus.

One day Micah said, "I just want to meet Jesus."
Dad: "You can, when you go to heaven."
Micah: "I just want to die so I can meet Jesus."
Dad/Mom: "Ummm?"

Another time we were praying before he went to bed and I prayed something like this, "God let Micah grow up to follow you and your design for his life."
Micah: "Why's God follow people?"
Dad: "No - I meant that you would follow Him."
Micah: "I don't want God to follow me, can you tell him to go away?"
Dad: "[through laughter] Never mind what I said, God loves you and ummm? Just go to sleep."

And just the other day Micah asked, "Why did Moses die?"
Dad: "Because everybody dies."
Micah: "But why did Moses die?"
Dad: "Because he lived a long time ago."
Micah: "But I just wanted to meet him."
Dad: [because I'm an idiot] "You can when you go to heaven."
Micah: "So Moses is alive?"
Dad: "Ummm? Well? Yeah - sort of - he's in heaven with Jesus"

It is fun to try and explain this stuff to a 4 year old and while doing so realize that without faith all this bible stuff seems pretty ridiculous. Fatherhood is a great adventure.

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Gotta love when people gather for a religious event and someone gets punched in the face! Wow!

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Time for another installment of YGBKM, or What the Crap?, or Seriously?

Not sure about this one - but it is hilarious. What I'm trying to figure out is why they thought a correlation between breakfast and God coming back made any sense? And I'm not sure who to feel bad for, that lady or him or you?

Got some new books from my friends over at Random House publishing and enjoyed these short reads.

Dinner with a Perfect Stranger is a fictional story of what happens when a man named Nick is invited to have dinner with Jesus. What I loved about the book is the relational perspective it gave of Jesus. The idea that he has always been in love with you and has always been pursuing you. It also gave an example of what relational evangelism should be about - dialogue, not preaching and condemning. But, in my opinion, I disliked that it still let the weight of the dialogue depend on logic, evidence and a more Modernists way of conversation - it was apologics heavy. But it was still a good read.

a Day with a Perfect Stranger was the follow up fictional story of Mattie, the wife of Nick, and her encounter with Jesus - who she wanted nothing to do with. Also a good, short read with the same likes and dislikes.

You can click on the covers to find out more...

I've posted a number of times about how life is going too fast for me. Faster than I've wanted it to go my boys are growing, my wife is pregnant with our third child and I'm approaching 30.

And while I'm enjoying my life and content with where I am and who I've become, it is simply just flying by.

Do you remember how weird it is to have your name/title change in the various stages of life. For me, it was so strange to get used to being called husband. That is a significant change - boyfriend I had grown used to, but husband was different and a weird change for a while. I remember thinking the same thing when I worked on staff at a church - people called me pastor - that was just as weird.

But the biggest change, the one that weighs most on me is being called daddy. I love it, but it is a lot of responsibility. I want to be the best daddy I can for my boys and over the past 4 years have grown used to being called that. But this weekend my name changed again - and this time I wasn't even ready for it and hadn't previously given any thought to it. My 4 year old Micah started calling me dad. Just dad. Seems like it's the same thing, but for me it totally wasn't - all of a sudden I could hear him saying, "Goodbye dad," as he left for college or his honeymoon or some other far-off event. All of a sudden he wasn't my little boy anymore who affectionately calls for daddy, he was my boy, my son and inviting me into his world by changing my name to 'dad.'

I can already see myself watching him graduate from high school and wondering how we got there so fast. It is a profound little lesson in life. You can't slow life down, you can't halt time, so you are forced to live in the moment or risk missing it all.

Meet Adele Sakler! Her and I set this interview up to intentionally force a conversation - not a debate - about Christianity and Homosexuality. Her and I's hope is to help those of us conservative minded Christians to at least hear from the 'other' side.

Adele currently resides in Richmond, Virginia and blogs as the Existential Punk and is the creator and site administrator of Queermergent and you can also find her on Twitter as well. She is currently going through long-term treatment for Chronic Lyme Disease, other tick-borne diseases, and heavy metal toxicity.

Adele has been a Christ-follower for 20 years and an “out” queer woman for two and-a-half years. Her involvement with the emerging church and Emergent Village has filled the better part of 10 years. You can listen to a recent interview with Adele on Irreligiosophy and read a recent article she published on The Ooze.

1. Tell us a little about yourself, your partner and what you're up to right now in life.

I have been a Christ-follower for the past 20 years and involved in the emerging church conversation for a better part of the last 10 years or so. I attended Xavier University in Cincinnati, Ohio, where I was born and raised, getting my BA in Communications/PR & Advertising. I attended Regent University to pursue an M.Div, but disliked the program due to its overly intellectual focus. I struggled with deep depression and attempted suicide at one point because I was told I would go to hell if I pursued being gay. I then entered the Communication School at Regent and received my MA in Film. In 1997 I moved to Los Angeles to work in the entertainment industry. In 2002 I moved to Richmond, VA to live with a friend for 5 months to save money before moving to N. Ireland for 2 years to work with YWAM (Youth With A Mission). I returned to Richmond in 2004 really ill and was diagnosed in March 2005 with Chronic Lyme Disease and other tick-borne diseases that I had since I was around 7 years old. In September 2006 I finally came to peace with myself in relation to my sexuality and at peace with G-D. I came out and have been the happiest, most joyful ever in my life.

I met my partner that following December and we just celebrated 2 years in December. This past October we were married in California before Prop 8 passed. My partner is a wonderful friend and care-giver. She teaches scuba diving, First Aid with the American Red Cross and aquatics classes at a local gym. We have a small travel business that she mostly runs.

I am currently going through long-term intensive treatment for my Lyme Disease, other tick-borne diseases and heavy metal toxicity. I am unable to work due to the nature of my illness as it affects my energy, joints, muscles and cognitive such as short-term memory loss, word-finding problems, brain fog, etc.

To keep sane I blog, Facebook and Twitter. I am hoping to write my memoir and have some upcoming possibilities of being involved with some other writing possibilities for books.

2. Summarize for us your journey in life up to this point.

I grew up Presbyterian as my mom was an elder in our church. My dad was a non-practicing Jew who only attended our church at Christmas and Easter. My Jewish grandparents paid for me to attend Catholic private schools starting in fifth grade. My father was emotionally and physically abusive and so I saw G-D as a mean old man sitting up in heaven waiting to punish me for every wrong move I made. During my junior year in high school mu father became deathly ill with an incurable cancer. From diagnosis to death, which occurred three weeks before my 17^th birthday, was five months. Nearly three months to the day after he died, his parents and grandmother, the Jewish side, were killed in a fire in their home caused by faulty wiring and a faulty alarm system wherein the house was struck by lighting. I complete lost my faith in G-D for over a year until a desire started coming back towards the second half of my senior year. My Catholic high school showed me great love and support and I believe this was the catalyst that drew me towards the Divine once again.

Twenty years ago this month I had a ‘born-again’ experience at a charismatic church where an American missionary to S. Africa was speaking. Hell was one of the topics being preached, so at the end of the evening I went forward for the altar call to ‘receive’ Jesus into my heart. I did this because I was afraid of going to hell. Thus, I was purchasing my ‘fire insurance’. I attended Pat Robertson’s graduate school in Virginia Beach, Regent University, to obtain an M.Div so I could be a youth pastor. I began to seriously look at my life-long struggle of same-sex attractions. The school and my therapist along with my charismatic church back home always communicated that being gay was a sin, a choice, and those who actively pursue it will go to hell. I was shell-shocked and confused. I attempted suicide and spent a month at two different times in a psychiatric hospital. I even did reparative therapy and attended ex-gay ministries to 'pray away the gay', which never worked.

In 1997 I moved to Los Angeles and began living a double life as a Christian and as a gay woman. I began to read Brian McLaren and found him writing things I had felt inside but was very afraid to express outwardly to anyone. In 2002 I went to Northern Ireland to do a DTS (Discipleship Training School) with YWAM. I met the great Peter Rollins and we developed a great friendship. His teachings and writings on postmodernism and Christianity radically shaped how I viewed my faith. I could no longer hang onto certainty with regards to interpreting scripture. There were more important things in kingdom living than where we go after we pass from this world to the next, like poverty, AIDS, the environment, etc. About 2.5 years ago I FINALLY came to terms with my sexuality. I found peace with myself and with God. Coming out was fairly painless with the exception of a few people who still think I am in sin and going to hell. I no longer hold this view and I am ok if people think that about me. I hate labels as they are so limiting, but are sometimes a necessary evil. After being a right wing Republican most of my voting life, I now consider myself an independent that leans more liberal than moderate.

3. My hope here Adele is that the one side, the more conservative Christian side, can hear from the other side, the more liberal. I think a lot of Christ followers have a hard time understanding how you can say you're a lesbian and actively living that lifestyle and at the same time say you are a follower of Jesus. Explain that.

I do not see being queer anymore a lifestyle than straight people see themselves living a lifestyle. I do not see being queer as a sin and the way I understand and interpret the scriptures used to speak against homosexuality is different. I lived many years thinking and believing the way conservatives view scripture and gay people. Yet, through my journey I have come to the conclusion that those scriptures are taken out of their cultural and historical contexts. I see the Bible as a story of G-D's relationship with people and not a 'how to' manual meant to be used for all time. I cannot help that I am a queer woman and I would have never chosen this way of life due to all the hatred towards us. I could ask all the people who call themselves Christ-followers how they can be Christians when they act so diametrically opposed to Christ with their unloving and hateful actions and attitudes to those they disagree with on whatever issue it mat be. Yet, there is a G-D who love us all unconditionally and extends grace and mercy to us all. I get it more wrong than I do right but I love G-D and Jesus and do my best to follow G-D and Jesus. Could I be wrong? Sure, but I am living my life as best as I can and at the end of the day, it is between me and my maker and nobody else. What gets me though, is how certain many conservatives think they are in their beliefs and interpretations of Scriptures. In my opnion, none of us has a monopoly on what G-D's full intent for our lives is as we only use 10% of our brain capacity. G-D is knowable yet is a mystery too.

4. Many Conservatives believe that you are not born gay, but rather that you are choosing to live a lifestyle that is both unnatural and immoral - what is your response to that kind of thinking?

Heterosexuals do not choose to be heterosexual anymore than gays choose to be gay. I do believe a genetic component is a part of it. Why would I choose to be gay when there is so much hate directed to my community? I look at my being queer as a gift and am happy even though it is a tough road to walk because of all the insensitivities expressed towards us queer people. I think they are uninformed and ought to get to know some gay folks for who they are rather than just pass on simple judgments.

5. My side of the fence, if you will, is constantly being asked to be more open minded, but that is a two way road. I believe you and I can believe fundamentally different things about God but still be in relationship with one another, still be friends. But what do we do to bridge the gap between my beliefs, which sees homosexuality as a sin and yours? How do we both find a middle ground?

I agree we can believe different things and still be friends. I have several conservative friends who have issues with this topic. I respect their beliefs but where the rubber hits the road is that they love me unconditionally and do not hurl insults at me. We agree to disagree. Not everyone has to come to my way of believing and interpreting scriptures. I just ask us all, conservative and liberal, to hold our beliefs loosely and to show respect and love. Just a word of note: Those in the LGBTQ community have often been deeply wounded by hurtful hateful and hypocritical conservatives so we are raw and reactive at times due to this. I think conservatives need to recognize this.

I also think we need to begin looking at the planks in our own eyes rather than looking at the specks in the eyes of others. We need to find common ground and have dialogue from those point of interest. To tell someone they are not a Christian because of X, Y or Z is very unhelpful and extremely arrogant. G-D is the only judge of that issue!

Circular arguments of repeating mantras on either side must stop and true listening must take place. That is where getting to know both sides - real human beings - is very important in my opinion. Tearing each other down gets us nowhere and I think brings Jesus to tears.

6. Another big point of contention, most recently emphasized in Prop 8, is the legalizing and redefining of marriage. Explain your stance on gay marriage and specifically why you think domestic partnership and marriage are not equal.

I am all for gay marriage. Conservatives say we are trying to redefine traditional marriage. Traditional marriage as we know it today was redefined from a long time ago. In Biblical times marriage was where a man owned the woman as property and there was not much love in those relationships. Gay marriage does not threaten marriage but rather strengthens it. We get yelled at by conservatives that we are living together out of wedlock but when we want to marry, we are told we are a threat. How illogical this argument is to me! My wife and I have the same ups and downs, struggles and enjoyments of any married couple. We pay taxes and should have all the same federal benefits as straight married couples. We were married in California in a civil ceremony. To me it is fear and ignorance to say we threaten marriage. Gay marriage has been around for many years in other countries and those countries have not broken down and fallen off the face of the earth. We live in a country where it is NOT a theocracy and where there is separation of church and state. We are all created equal under our nations Constitution and religious entities cannot impose their beliefs on society at large. Domestic partnerships are not offered in every state and where they are offered, differ on the rights afforded people. We must pay attorney's fees in order to get medical directives and power of attorneys and we still do not have the over 1100 Federal rights afforded Heterosexual married couples. States do not have to recognize marriage or domestic partnerships from other states under the federal DOMA (Defense Of Marriage Act).

Here is a very true but sad story for you to consider: A lesbian couple from Washington State, who have children, had all their ducks in a row with regards to power of attorney, medical directives, etc. They went on a Rosie O'Donnell family cruise leaving out of Florida. While on the cruise, the one had a stroke and was flown to a hospital in Florida. The partner had her paperwork faxed to the hospital but the hospital would not allow her or their children in to see their family member. The woman ended up dying. If there were federal protections for gays, we would not be having to hear about this very sad story.

A big thank you to Adele for taking the time to answer my questions and for the courage to do this. Please respect Adele, me and yourself and do not leave ignorant, empty or hateful comments. We all need to move from debating to conversing and modeling the Christ we follow - the same Christ who was only ever abrasive and spiteful to the know-it-all folk of His time. No anonymous comments will be accepted on this post - if you don't have anything nice to say, just keep it to yourself.